Leela:
Megha, an elderly brahmin, was a loyal devotee of Sai Baba, who used to travel several miles to get fresh bel leaves to perform traditional Siva puja. Every day without fail, he performed puja at each shrine in the village, and after this, went to Baba to offer his prayers to Him. This went on for several years.
When Megha died, all the
villagers followed the funeral procession. Baba also accompanied them and
showered flowers on Megha's body. After the last rites were performed, Baba too
had tears in His eyes. He very lovingly covered the body with flowers and expressed
sorrow over Megha’s loss. Baba then returned to the Masjid.
Based on Shri Sai Satcharita, The wonderful life and teachings
of Shri Sai Baba, Translated by Nagesh Vasudev Gunaji (Mumbai:
Shri Sai Baba Sansthan, Shirdi, 20th Edition 2002), p167
Based on Shri Sai Satcharita, The Life and Teachings of Shirdi Sai Baba, G. R. Dhalbokar, Translated by Indira Kher (Slovenia: Bird Publisher, 2009), p264
Teachings from Leela:
The Bhagavad Gita says:
As a person sheds worn-out garments and wears new ones, likewise, at the time of death, the soul casts off its worn-out body and enters a new one (note 1).
Being enlightened Himself, who else but Baba would know the above verse from Bhagavad Gita better than Him. He taught us that the body is temporary, but the soul is permanent and never dies. Sai Himself taught us about non-attachment, so why did He shed tears for Megha?
To answer the above question, let us first consider the meanings of attachment and non-attachment.
Attachment is the bonds you form with people or things in this worldly existence. If you follow the thread for any kind of suffering, you will find its cause to be an attachment to a person or an object. The stronger the bond, the more painful the feeling of loss.
Does this mean that, to avoid suffering, you must not love anyone? Not at all. But it matters what type of love you speak of. If your love has expectations about what you get in return, or if you feel a possessiveness for your loved one, it is easy to see how this type of love could cause you suffering.
For example, consider two relationships, one with a dear friend you’ve known for a long time, and another with your young child. Let’s say you are very expressive of your love to both. Now, let’s say that each of them, at one time, does not respond in the way you expect to a kindness you do for them. You are very likely to be upset with your friend’s behaviour, but unlikely to be upset with your child. That means your love for your dear friend is built upon expectations about how they are supposed to behave with you, while your love for your child is free from expectations.
In another example, the parents of a young man want him to enter into a certain high-prestige profession, and the young man is naturally talented for and strongly drawn to another profession. The parents look to furthering their own family’s prestige and are oblivious to the feelings of their son. A way to understand this relationship is that of possessiveness, where the parents are treating their son as an object they own.
Instead, if your love is unconditional, with no expectations from the loved one, and no feeling of possessiveness over the loved one, then at their loss, you will be able to control the suffering instead of having the suffering control you.
In our tradition, all spiritual paths speak of non-attachment. This non-attachment is essentially the same as unconditional love. It does not require that you wall off your heart from loving others. In fact, it requires you to open your heart more to love others and wish for their happiness and well-being without any expectation of reciprocation.
With non-attachment, when you love someone, for you it is all about them. You care deeply for them, are kind to them, wish the best for them, and help them when they need it. This form of love is not an obstacle to your spiritual development, but a divine emotion. It, in fact, greatly improves your relationships with others. When the time comes that you lose them, you accept the loss, continue to love them, and move on.
We expect saints like Sai to practice non-attachment and never show any emotion, but they are humans too. They offer unconditional love, and feel the loss of loved ones upon their passing. They are affected by grief and so they express it. They want us to know that grief is a natural response upon loss of a loved one.
Via this leela, Baba is teaching us that it is natural to grieve for the loss of someone you love unconditionally. It is natural and acceptable to express pain and grief by shedding tears, as Baba Himself did at Megha’s passing.
Putting into Practice
Here are some suggestions on how we could use this leela in our daily lives.
1) Non-attachment does not mean you do not love, nor does it mean that you do not grieve for loss of a loved one
As described in the ZenThinking website (note 2):
I like to think of non-attachment as being similar to the teflon coating on a frying pan — it certainly doesn’t stop the pan from cooking the food, or from doing a good job, or even from enjoying its work. Once it’s finished, everything just slips off without leaving any trace.
No emotional scrubbing necessary.
The memories aren’t gone—but you’re not attached to, nor defined by them. All is well.
In this leela, Baba is teaching us about non-attachment, unconditional love, and how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
Non-attachment and Unconditional Love
To progress on your spiritual journey, you have already been taught that you must achieve non-attachment. When it comes to people dear to you in your worldly life, this means that you must base all your relationships with your loved ones upon unconditional love. How do you achieve this in your daily life?
One way to move towards unconditional love is to catch yourself each time you get angry at a loved one, and to try to honestly understand the cause of your anger. If the anger was triggered because of something your loved one didn’t do, this is a sure sign of an expectation. You must then consciously remove this expectation. Each time you do this, it gets easier and easier.
Another way towards unconditional love is to catch yourself each time you try to overly protect your adult child from dangers in the normal world. You are free to offer advice, but you must consciously step back from interfering. Your over-protective behaviour convinces your own mind of your indispensability in your child’s life. It also delays your child’s natural development to cope in the real world.
In yet another case, if your adult child strongly resists a demand you are making on them, you must take the opportunity to examine your motives for your demand upon them. Is it truly for your benefit or for theirs?
These opportunities of self-examination will move you to a more mature perspective of your relationship with your adult child based upon unconditional love.
Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One
If you were fortunate enough to develop unconditional love for the person you lost, coping with their loss is not going to be easy, but it will be manageable. You will feel grief but will see this grief in the context of a larger understanding about the material world.
For most of the rest of us, this is a seriously debilitation loss. We feel incredulous at loss happening to us, unwilling to accept it, angry at being abandoned, and deeply wounded right down to our soul. At this time, it is best to turn our minds to our Sadguru and towards God. Surrender to Baba and He will help you in this difficult time.
Sadly, in some cultures, male members of society are not supposed to show emotions and cry. Instead of expressing their grief, they often hide their emotions and sometimes try to artificially alter their feelings with drugs or alcohol, and make things worse. Remember this leela, as Baba Himself cried out of grief and expressed His love for His beloved devotee, Megha.
Mantra:
Om, Sarve bhavantu sukhinaḥ
Sarve santu nirāmayāḥ
Sarve bhadrāṇi paśyantu
Mā kashchit duḥkha bhāgbhavet
Oṁ Shāntiḥ, Shāntiḥ, Shāntiḥ
Meaning:
May all be prosperous and happy
May all be free from illness
May all see what is spiritually uplifting
May no one suffer
Om peace, peace, peace
This above mantra is from the Brihadaaranyaka Upanishad
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/seekingshanti/2015/09/hinduprayerforeveryone_globalgoals/
I would encourage all of you to please share your interpretations, learnings and experiences on how you have put this leela into practice.
Om Sai Ram.
Notes:
1. http://www.holy-bhagavad-gita.org/chapter/2/verse/22
2. http://www.zenthinking.net/blog/understanding-the-difference-between-non-attachment-vs-detachment
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